Thursday, August 28, 2008

David Caruso: Katharina Cries "Where's Mutter"

My name is Katharina Sophie. I live in Innsbruck, Austria, with relatives. I'm a young teenager whose mother is lost. Please help me find her. Her name is Heidi Schnitzer, but I don't know if she's using her own name in Tijuana, Mexico. Her photo is shown here. She speaks several languages, including Spanish and English. You'll recognize her at once when she talks because of the German accent. She's kind of tall and slender, and probably has blonde hair now. Everywhere she goes, she carries a laptop computer with her. The computer is her only friend.

Yesterday I went shopping for school clothes. Without Mutter there, I just went through the motions. It was a task to be completed. Mutter and I always had fun shopping; we made a day of it. We'd try on everything, laugh at ourselves and each other, stop for lunch, and collapse, exhausted, but happy, when the day was over. We'd be almost the same size now. We could trade off some of our favorite things. I can swipe your best blouse when you're not looking or your cool shoes and be out of the house before you know they're gone. You'll holler at me for taking without asking; that's okay, too.

School will be starting shortly. There's no one for me to talk to about my fears, my new maybe friends, the latest hunk I'm mad for. No one to ask whether I should take science courses or concentrate on math and literature. No one to take me to the movies (we loved seeing all the latest films together). Mutter even liked most of my music choices; not the case with stuffy relatives. I love the family, but they're not Mutter.

I miss her so much. I worry that she's okay. What's she doing? Where does she live? Does she have a job? Is she eating right? I know she's sick and needs treatment, but she left before a treatment course was ordered by the courts. Now, I'm afraid even if she comes back, the courts won't let me live with her because of her sickness.


I read all about Tijuana on the internet. Much bigger than Innsbruck, and right on the US border. Can she cross over into California? That was always her dream; to live in California with all the celebrities. If she makes it to California, will she send for me? Will I like California and Tijuana? Will she get to meet David Caruso? Maybe I'll even get to meet the Jonas Brothers.

But she won't send for me; another mouth to feed. Mutter, I promise I won't eat much. I'll get a job to help with the bills. You can teach me English and Spanish. Please, Mutter, I'll go wherever you want. We'll get you medicine. We'll have fun like we used to do. We'll celebrate the holidays in the California sun, instead of the cold, harsh Austrian winter.

When it's late at night, visions of you keep me awake, bringing tears of loneliness until, finally, I fall asleep still crying. I miss you, Mutter. Please, Please come home. We'll make it right for you. I won't be a bother, I promise. I won't complain about the time you spend on the computer, I promise. I need you here, with me. It's not natural spending my teenage years without a mutter. I feel lost without you here. Please come home. And, mutter, you need me, too. We've always been a team; it's us against the world. I'm all alone now.

If anyone reading this knows my mutter or where she is, please send her home to her tochter. I miss her so much. I love you, mutter!!!!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sob, sob, sob...LOL. albeit with a lot room for improvement.

Shelby said...

How profoundly sad this is. You put yourself in this young ladies shoes quite well.

During the last 10 years or so of my education career, I noticed that more and more children were receiving their nurturing from their grandparents. Mostly is was the need for both parents to work that brought this about, but once in awhile some grandma would be given a child or two while mother went to NY to try to make it as a model or "whatever". Often these children had different last names and often their fathers were not a part of their lives either. It is difficult for me to contemplate these children as adults --- they have so many strikes against them already. Whatever will become of them once Grandma dies? So sad, so sad, so sad.

dojo said...

Any question regarding the identity of anonymous? We see your compassion clearly, Heidi!

You're right, Shelby. As a longtime CASA I also found it becoming increasingly common for grandparents to be raising the grandkids. It's not fair to the kids or the grandparents; the only saving feature is that it's better for the kids to be with relatives than strangers.

Lindy said...

You've captured it nicely Dojo. And Heidi: Yes, there is a lot of room for improvement. When will you begin??? Perhaps at home, with your daughter?