Lest anyone on the planet wonder why David Caruso somewhat tactlessly declined the free-for-the-taking offer of HeidiHo, allow us to illustrate.
Are you a first-time visitor to Tijuana? Are you a resident looking for an out-of-the-way, inexpensive, yet discreet diversion? HeidiHo's Hideaway is the place for you.
Welcome to HeidiHo's Brothel! HeidiHo maintains her residence and her commercial enterprise, all in one accessible location. This allows her to offer her unique services at prices well below those found within the more competitive Tijuana marketplaces.
Prior to HeidiHo's occupancy, the establishment was an abandoned shack. A plus for your wallet; no rent for her means cheaper thrill for you. While it does lack certain amenities most of us have come to expect, it boasts a serenity not found in the hustle and bustle of Tijuana. We've been led to believe there is an outhouse behind the shack and a small stream just over the rise; soap, shampoo and insecticides available for a nominal fee.
A cozy cottage atmosphere, unfettered by cumbersome furniture or electroncis. The only convenience is a mattress, low to the floor, providing easy ingress and egress. Battery-operated appliances, beverages and an assortment of snacks may be brought in and are always appreciated. We caution you to bring only ready-to-eat foods. There are no facilities to accommodate items requiring either heat or refrigeration. You might also wish to consider bringing your own portable urinal and perhaps some "Wet Ones" or "Baby Wipes". Paper bag provided free of charge upon request.
Priced in five (5) minute increments, small discounts for longer periods (although that has yet to occur); quoted on request. Please bring correct change. HeidiHo keeps no funds available for refunds.
One final word of advice: Use a pseudonym. You obviously wish discretion or you wouldn't be there. HeidiHo is totally unfamiliar with the term or its implementation.
4 comments:
OMG, I'm still laughing. That's so funny. "Easy ingress and egress"?
"Five minute increments"? "Battery operated appliances"?
A little feisty on a Sunday morning, aren't you? I'm loving it!
I knew many of you would like it.
HeidiHo's already been here today, so I expect she'll be copying it for herself, twisting and turning as she types. She has so little time, you know?
A little chilly but we're off to the boat for a bit of R & R.
You ARE in fine fettle this fine and freezing Aussie morning! I will have to drive to work b/c on a train I might be arrested for distrubing the peace, just laughing too much. Someone here is already shakimg their head.
Heidi has already turned it into 'David Caruso's brothel". Luckily, nobody pays attention to her. Mentally depraved and sinking fast.
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